Psychological Analysis Of Bondage, Discipline, And Sadomasochism (BDSM)

Sexual intimacy is a leisure activity that BDSM practitioners engage in as a form of recreation (Williams, 2009). Wiseman (as cited in Williams, 2009) defines BDSM as, “the use of psychological dominance and submission, and/or physical bondage, and/or pain, and/or related practices in a safe, legal, consensual manner in order for the practitioner to experience erotic arousal and/or personal growth”. BDSM is an acronym that combines the social phenomenon of bondage and discipline (B& D), dominance and submission (D/s), and sadism and masochism (SM or S& M). Some individuals may only fit into one category of BDSM; however, most active members in the community crossover into multiple facets of the lifestyle (Williams, 2009).

No one theory can explain the mechanisms that compel people to participate in BDSM (Richter et. al., 2008). BDSM represents an expansive range of behaviors, includes practitioners from diverse backgrounds, and these practitioners incorporate special significances to their experiences and relationships; therefore, the subject is difficult to define and objectively analyze (Williams, 2009; Richter et. al., 2008). BDSM practitioners are predominately bisexual or gay males that started practicing SM between the ages of 18-20 due to establishing their sexual orientation later than heterosexual males (Sandnabba et al., 2008; Richter et. al., 2008). Heterosexual males start practicing SM early in life after experiencing normal sexual behavior (vanilla sex) and determining their sexual orientation. Woman that participate in BDSM are predominantly bisexuals or lesbians that started participating in SM between the ages of 16-19.

Practitioners are healthy and well-adjusted individuals that do not suffer from high levels of psychological or emotional distress, low self-esteem, guilt, and/or self-destructive behaviors compared to the general population (Williams, 2009; Richter et. al., 2008). Sandnabba et al. (2008) states that practitioners tend to be highly educated and have high socioeconomic status compared to the general population. Most grew up in traditional two –parent households. Males that had secure ambivalent attachment to their mothers were found to be more sadistic than males without secure attachment, which were found to be more masochistic (Sandnabba et al., 2008).

Against popular belief, most practitioners do not suffer from sexual difficulties, low sex drives, pain during intercourse, anxiety about sexual inability, or childhood sexual abuse (Richter et. al., 2008). Females in the BDSM community experienced more childhood sexual abuse than males; moreover, these statistics are insignificant compared to the general population (Williams, 2009). Females that had been sexually abused had a higher tendency to seek out relationships that have element of violence and dominance than males that were abused (Richter et. al., 2008). Members tend to have difficulty finding permanent partners that share their interests so they become involved in the BDSM subcultures (Sandnabba et al., 2008). Williams (2009) discovered that in the United States, 14% of males and 10% of females in the general population has experienced BDSM. Williams (2009) also discovered that 8–10% of households in the United States contained BDSM equipment which is called “toys”.

There are debates amongst therapists/counselors about whether or not BDSM should be considered a psychopathology; however, modern research suggests that BDSM is not associated with psychopathology (Williams, 2009). According to the DSM-IV-TR classification, individuals that experience, “Over a period of at least 6months, recurrent, intense sexually arousing fantasies, sexual urges, or behaviors involving acts (real, not simulated) in which the psychological or physical suffering (including humiliation) of the victim is sexually exciting to the person” and “ has acted on these sexual urges with a nonconsenting person, or the sexual urges or fantasies cause marked distress or interpersonal difficulty” are sexual sadists (Krueger. R. B., 2010). According to the DSM-IV-TR classification, individuals that experience, “Over a period of at least 6 months, recurrent, intense sexually arousing fantasies, sexual urges, or behaviors involving the act (real, not simulated) of being humiliated, beaten, bound, or otherwise made to suffer” and “fantasies, sexual urges, or behaviors cause clinically significant distress or impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of functioning” are sexual masochists (Krueger. R. B., 2010). In BDSM scenes, all practitioners consent to the play and are sexually aroused by their roles; however, they do not experience the distress or impaired functioning due to their behavior being a leisure activity. For these reasons, some practitioners and researchers want sexual sadism and sexual masochism to be removed from the DSM and not considered a mental disorder (Williams, 2009).

Like other alternative lifestyles, individuals that openly practice BDSM often encounter stereotypes, personal biases, and discrimination, which could lead to problems in social functioning (Williams, 2009). It is unfortunate that practitioners must stay in the closet due to religious norms and cultural standards (Williams, 2009). Unfortunately, if a participant were distressed, they are unlikely to seek out professional help because of the fear of being misunderstood and stereotyped by therapists (Williams, 2009). Practitioners found a sense of security by establishing a subculture to feel safe. Williams (2009) suggests that the Internet has made it possible for BDSM practitioners to meet and socialize without interference and discrimination from the general population. Expansion of the lifestyle made it possible for members to add variation to the culture, by developing ideologies, standards, values, symbols, terminology, and organizations (Williams, 2009).

Williams (2009) shows how power exchange is demonstrated through roles in BDSM relationships. Roles are commonly determined by the participant’s actual or perceived personality and/or negotiated within a relationship (Williams, 2009). The “Dominant” (Dom) is the participant that controls and dictates activities within the relationship. Female Doms are called “Mistresses” while male Doms are considered “Masters” or “Lords” (Williams, 2009). Doms are not always aggressive and many are actually passive and introverted (Williams, 2009). The participant that voluntarily surrenders partial control to a Dom is called a “Submissive” (Sub). Subs can be both males or females and are able to negotiate the terms of the scenes with the Dom. The “Slave” voluntarily relinquishes all rights and control to their Dom and finds extreme arousal in following the orders of their Dom. The participant that switches between dominant and submissive roles and/or changes roles during specific scenes is called a “Switch”. Subs, Slaves, and Switches can be play partners (interact during scenes only) or engage in a committed relationships with a Dom (Williams, 2009). Doms are able to have more than one Sub, Slave, or Switch at a particular time. The Dom may present a “collar” to symbolize commitment and ownership which is equivalent to the ring in traditional relationships. When a relationship has ended, the Sub, Slave, or Switch must return the collar back to the Dom (Williams, 2009).

Sandnabba et al. (2008) suggests that sexual social interaction between BDSM practitioners can be considered an interpersonal sexual script. Script theory suggests that the way people behave during sexual interaction is not spontaneous but is influenced by socialization. They are influenced by society and conventional gender roles even if they don’t conform to the traditional script. Practitioners prefer having clear roles because it reduces arguments and promotes unity (Williams, 2009). Sexual connectedness leads practitioners to embrace new sexual behaviors and scripts based on their perception of what others want (Sandnabba et al., 2008). Williams (2009) suggests that behaviors associated with sexual roles may represent the practitioners’ instinctive reproduction strategy and is a normal expression of human behavior.Baumeister (as cited in Williams, 2009) suggests that practitioners participate in BDSM because of their need to temporarily escape from the Self. Practitioners are restricted in their social identity and use play to let go of control, experience pain and extreme sensation, and/or temporarily pretend to develop another identity (Williams, 2009).

It is essential that the BDSM relationships include trust, intimacy, emotional connections, and effective communication because BDSM can be physically and psychologically risky and dangerous (Williams , 2009). Members of the community are expected to adopt the motto of “safe, sane, and consensual”, which reflects the ultimate goal of all practitioners and the subculture (Williams, 2009). Members of the community are expected to show malevolence and empathize with their play partners (Williams, 2009). Safe words are used as precaution to immediately stop scenes and are usually established before the scene begins. “Red-Yellow-Green” is the universal safety words used in public events and the color meanings are the same as that of a street light (Williams, 2009). Doms are constantly updating their knowledge base by learning new skills, mastering techniques, constructing equipment, attending seminars, and planning play scenes (Williams, 2009).

Scenes are activities and events specific to BDSM practices. Williams (2009) suggests that play scenes gives adult practitioners an opportunity to violate social norms and promotes fantasy, role play, and creativity. Scenes can be private between intimate partners or publicly displayed during group sex or BDSM events (Williams, 2009). During a scene, the participant that dominates the scene is called the “Top” and the submissive participant is considered the “Bottom”. The Dom or Top is constantly “Checking In” to make sure the Sub or Bottom is not physically and psychologically distressed during the scene (Williams, 2009). At play parties/public events, the “Dungeon Monitor” (DM) makes sure the safety standards are being upheld and respected. Play scenes start off very slow and gradually become more intense (Williams, 2009). When the scene is completed, the Dom or Top comforts and encourages partners to ensure future compliance called “Aftercare” (Williams, 2009). Many practitioners describe their play scenes as enjoyable, entertaining, euphoric, an escape from daily routine, a high, freedom, and spiritual (Williams, 2009).

Bondage is the aspect of BDSM that emphasizes the use of restraints to bind practitioners into unique positions for sexual pleasure ( Bondage, n.d). Bondage can be performed in private, group, or event scene settings. The most common form of bondage is rope play which involves tying partners to objects and tying their limbs together (Bondage , n.d). Equipment used in the scene can include handcuffs, straitjackets, sleepsacks, ropes, bars, straps, harnesses, and any object that binds or suspends a practitioner in the air ( Bondage, n.d).

Discipline is the component to BDSM that involves the use of rules and chastisement to control the behavior of play partners (B.E.S.T., n.d.) When a Sub or Slave breaks a pre-established rule, the Dom will administer one or more punishments. Discipline is used so the Dom can teach proper behavior and to adjust undesirable attitudes of the Sub, Slave, or Switch (B.E.S.T., n.d.). Punishment is used to show that the Master is dissatisfied, to show that the behavior will not be tolerated, and to reinforce proper behavior. Punishment may include physical punishment, psychological punishment, loss of privileges, humiliation, self-infliction pain, participation in undesired play, or loss of freedom like bondage (B.E.S.T., n.d.). A person who enjoys controlling their partner’s behavior by training them to be obedient is called a “Disciplinarian” (B.E.S.T., n.d.). Many Subs, Slaves, and Switches enjoy being punished so much that they purposely break the rules to be reprimanded (B.E.S.T., n.d.).

The sadism component of SM emphasizes the mistreatment of others for pleasure and the masochism aspect has to deal with experiencing pleasure through pain. The terms are commonly combined because the behaviors are synonymous but can also function alone. Townesend ( as cited in Sandnabba et al., 2008) states that there are six major components of the SM scene which includes, interplay of dominance and submission , infliction of pain that is enjoyable to all the practitioners, fantasy and role play, intentional humiliation of the submissive partner, construction of props for the scene, and ritualistic sadistic activities.

Gay males exhibit more masochistic behavior than heterosexual males and prefer activities that include leather outfits, anal sex, wrestling, watersport, cockbinding, fisting, scatologia, dildos, enemas, and catheters play (Sandnabba et al., 2008; Williams, 2009). Heterosexual males exhibit more sadistic behaviors than gay males and prefer activities that include rubber outfits, caning, vaginal intercourse, humiliation, blindfolds, full head masks, gags, cross-dressing, and mummification (Sandnabba et al., 2008; Williams, 2009). Sandnabba et al. (2008) states that women tend to prefer the humiliation elements of SM more than males which may include face slapping, flagellation, gagging, and verbal humiliation.